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Most Embarrassing Masturbation Stories | |
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Monday, May 28, 2007
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<%BLOG|Most Embarrassing Masturbation Stories%>
A very warm welcome from Carmen Sutra:
Alrighty, my dear readers, get ready for our annual Most
Embarrassing Masturbation stories! Interestingly enough, the
majority of your letters began with some version of "back
in college" or "when I was a teenager..." But all involved
what I call the "mortification factor." As you read these,
think about how you would feel in the exact situation and
how mortified you would feel. Let's not waste another second...
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Today's Topic: Most Embarrassing Masturbation Stories 2007
5. I've got one for you! I was in the shower in my dorm freshman
year. It was an awarkward position, but I was feeling a little
frisky, so I went for it. I was right about there when I
stepped on a bar of soap in the bottom of the shower and
slipped. I cracked my head off the soap dish and blacked out.
I was fine, but I had a huge bruise on my forehead- I had to
keep explaining how it happened, and of course all my friends
knew what had been going on!
4. When me and my boyfriend were still in high school, I was
over at his house while his parents were gone. We were mess-
ing around with one of those silicon "pleasure orbs" when we
heard his mother come home. Needless to say we both freaked
out so when he was going up stairs to talk to his mom, I
tried to get the vibrator out. I just pulled on the chord and
it snapped, leaving the vibrator still inside! So I went home
and tried to get it out for about half an hour, but it was
just too slippery... then I remembered about contrating the
PC muscles. I tried that a it just popped out! PC muscles
saved the day!
3. This is from early on in my first semster of freshman year in
college. My room mate and I don't get along very well (to the
point that we don't even talk to each other). She's a conserv-
ative, hardcore, "good girls don't do that!" kind of girl while
I'm like "eh, as long as you're not hurting anyone, do it and
enjoy" type of person... Because we don't talk to each other
it wasn't all that uncommon for one of us to disappear for
the night. And that's how this started...
She disappeared and it was going on 1am (she never came back
that late before so I figured the coast was clear). Finally
thinking that I have time for a quickie I pulled out my double
bullets, turned out the lights (easier to watch movies that
way), popped in a porn and went to town. After coming the
first time I was still too excited to stop, so I went for
another go around when It happened. I was sooo close and then
the door unlocked and the knob started to turn. I had just
enough time to turn off the bullets and shut off the porn
when she came in.
She glared at me suspeciously as I smiled at her from acrossed
the darkened room, panting slightly and red in the face. I
tried explaining away why the lights were out but she kept
glaring at me, probably because I was wiggling around a bit
in my seat... I still had the 2 bullets in me... Everytime I
went to get up to go off to the bathroom to pull them out she
would glare at me again, so I had to sit there for over an
hour. I was about in tears by the time I couldn't take it any
more and ran off... well... ran as well as I could without the
bullets slipping out of an extremely slick area...
2. My most embarrassing situation with masturbation was as a
young teenager. Unusually daring (or maybe in unusually urgent
need) I was in the bathroom doing my thing with my parents
around the house. I was in front of the potty, on my knees,
naked with my penis between the lid and the bowl when the door
flew open and my father stepped in. I had been careless in
not making sure the door was locked. He said: what are you
doing? I am sick, I stammered. Why are your clothes off? I
- I did not want to mess them up with barf. My mother was
in the background and Dad says: He does look sick, white as a
sheet. And shaking too. He could not see what I had been do-
ing, so I was put to bed and with tender care had a very fast
recovery.
Continue on for NUMBER ONE:
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1. Ok, here’s my embarrassing story. I was 17 years old, at home
and my parents had been out of town for a few weeks on a trip
overseas. During this time I had gotten quite accustomed to
being by myself in our house. So accustomed to it that I
didn’t think much about leaving my bedroom door open when I
masturbated. Well, one day I had just gotten off the phone
with my girlfriend of 3 months, telling her I was going to go
hit the shower. I turned up the stereo in the whole house,
then I jumped in the shower. After my shower, I went into my
room and plopped down on my bed and started to masturbate. I
was completely naked and was just all sprawled out on my bed
having myself a real good time.
I didn’t know it at the time, but my girlfriend had been in
contact with my sister that I had not seen in over a year.
She was returning home from studying overseas and she had my
girlfriend pick her up at the airport. My girlfriend and my
sister were going to surprise me so they let themselves in
and came upstairs to where they heard the music blaring from
my room. My sister went first and my girlfriend was right
behind her. Well, I got through cumming just as my sister
and girlfriend rounded the corner to my bedroom. They both
jumped into my doorway screaming “SURPRISE” and there I was
in all my glory holding my cock with cum all over me.
Well as I scrambled for the towel to cover myself, my girl-
friend and sister both screamed and busted out laughing. That
made me laugh too and it was never mentioned again by any of
us. It was just one of those funny moments.
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That's a wrap, folks! I hope you enjoyed our annual list!
Thank you to all the people who shared their embarrassing
stories with us. It takes a lot of guts to share your morti-
fication sometimes. Have a wonderful Memorial Day! East
some beef for me :) As always, I remain...
Devotedly yours,
Carmen Sutra
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